If Only, If Only
by justaluckybug
Summary: Mostly she woke up crying. It wasn’t fair. How she longed to live forever in the land of Colors. She cried because she longed to feel that happiness she feels in her dreams, all the time. It wasn’t fair.
1. IntroAuthor's Note

**Okay so this is my new story. I'll be posting the first couple of chapters, so tell me what you think. If you like it, I'll post the rest. I thought of this while reading C.M Aeris Queen of Insanity's "Sons of the Night" (which is, by the way, one of my favorite fanfics of all time, so you should read it!) Also it has some similarities to _The Giver_ by Lois Lowry, so don't sue me cause I told you. Also I don't own any of the JLU characters, but they won't appear for a while. I DO own the characters that are not from the show (The ones in the first 4 chaps.) If your confused by anything just tell me and I'll try to clear thing up. It can be a little confusing :D Just so you know this IS gonna be a Justice League story, don't worry. The couples I'll use are: BM-WW, GL-HG, and some SM-LL and F-LP but only some. Please read and review! –Sammy–**

**P.S. : This part is just the poem I got the title from. It's kinda random but…I like it  
**

If Only, If Only

_If only, if only the woodpecker sighs _

_The bark on the trees were as soft as the skies_

_The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely_

_And cries to the moon, if only, if only_

_-From the movie/book __Holes_


	2. Prologue: Dream

_PART ONE_Prologue: Dream

_**I was a little girl alone in my little world, who dreamed of a little home for me.**_

I had a dream

_**That I could fly from the highest tree.**_

_**I had a dream.**_

_She awakens in a dark place where the floor is hard and the ceiling is a dark green. She shivers because a cold air blows by, like the air from the vent above her bed, but there's no vent to be seen. Dark brown pillars with green hats surround her, they loom over her and she is scared. So she runs and runs until she sees a light. And, suddenly, the dark place is gone. Instead the floor is soft and green and the ceiling a light blue, like the color of her eyes. White smoke drifts around in the blue and a bright, yellow circle sheds warmth on her pale skin, but when she tries to look at it closer, her eyes start to burn so she looks away._

_A strip of blue runs along beside her. She is curious, so she touches its surface. She gasps as had goes right through it, and she realizes it is like the drink They put in her cup. She laughs and runs. She is happy. It's a nice feeling, happiness. _

_She comes to a place where the floor ends and she is able to look down at another place below. There is a building, though it looks nothing like the buildings she knows. The walls are made of stones and are filled with holes. She doesn't know how, but she knows they are supposed to be there, so that the light and warmth of the yellow circle can go in. She fines a strip where others have walked before and follows it down to the strange structure. The closer she gets the stronger a feeling builds within her. She knows not what it is called but she doesn't like. It makes her nervious _If I go closer the feeling will go away, _she thinks, so she starts to run. Into the building she runs and through many, many halls. A feeling of relief, she thinks that is what it is called, runs through her. Finally she is There. What is There, she doesn't know, but she believes it lies behind the door. She reaches to open it but…_

She always woke up before she could open the beloved door to the There. There will be full of happiness and laughter, she thought, and it hurt her deeply inside when she couldn't open it.

Sometimes she woke and screamed with frustration into her pillow. Why couldn't she reach the door? It wasn't fair. Sometimes she woke with a grim determination. She _would_ open that door one day. She _would._ Mostly she woke up crying. It wasn't _fair. _She didn't really care about the door, but how she longed to live forever in the land of Colors. She cried because she _longed_ to feel that happiness she feels in her dreams, all the time. It wasn't fair.

The Voice told her, over the intercom, that it was time to get up and start Playing. So she did. She always did what the Voice told her too. She knew nothing of disobedience. It wasn't an option. You do what the Voice says, period.

The Voice called it Playing and that was what she knew it to be.

First she Played with the Blocks. The Blocks were colored shapes of different sizes; some were circles, some were squares, some trianglez. The objective was to place the Blocks in the corresponding holes. When she was Two this Game was difficult, but she was Five now and it was as simple as breathing.

Next, she went to the Screen. On the Screen she Played many Games. One was called Counting, in which the voice in the Screen told her a Number and she had to pick the group of shapes with that Number. She didn't care much for Counting, but she was very good at it.

The Games went on till Midday, at which she had her Midday Meal. She had the same thing for both her Meals - a plate with Meat and Rice and Vegetables. She didn't care much for the Meals either. She'd had them for so long, their taste had disappeared.

But today was different. The Lady did not come with her Meal at Midday and she was confused. Ever since she can remember, the Lady has come. She sat on her bed with her Comfort Object, whom she had named Blue after her favorite Color. Blue did not have a shape and she was not blue. She was white, just like everything else in her room, besides the Games. Her bed, her walls, her ceiling, her floor, were all white. Even the clothes she wore were white. The only other thing that had Color was her hair, which was black. It was cut short so it did not get in her way when she Played.

Just when she was about to start Playing again, the door opened and a lady stepped in. She had not seen this lady before. The lady had much shorter hair than the other lady and her skin was much darker. The lady's eyes were scary, but when she spoke, her voice was kind, familiar too.

"Come with me, Aster," the lady said and Aster knew where she had heard the ladies voice before. This lady was the Voice, the same one who woke her up everyday and told her when it was time for Sleep. And the Voice had told her to come and you always do what the voice says, so Aster went.

She walked side by side with the Voice for a long time and they went through many hallways. Finally the Voice stopped by a door similar to the one in her room. There were Numbers by the door and the Voice pressed them. The door swings open. 6-8-3-9-5-0-1-4-2-7 was the order the Voice had pressed the Numbers in. 6-8-3-9-5-0-1-4-2-7, 6-8-3-9-5-0-1-4-2-7, 6-8-3-9-5-0-1-4-2-7. Aster repeated the Numbers in her head and tried to remember them. She didn't know why, but something told her they were important.

The Voice gave her a small push indicating she wanted her to go into the room. Aster complied. The room was much the same as her room, but larger. Instead of one bed there were 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7, seven beds, she Counted. Instead of one cabinet that held the Games, there were seven. There were also seven chairs and seven lights by each of the seven beds. _Seven ladies must live in this room_, she concluded.

But to her surprise, instead of ladies, there were other girls, just like her but not like her at all. They were all different sizes and shapes and colors. Just like the Blocks, Aster observed. They were lined up, though by what order, Aster didn't know.

"I will leave you with the others now," The Voice said to Aster and then turned toward the other Children. "Be kind to your new roommate and then get back to your Free-Time. Training begins in half an hour." Then the Voice was gone and Aster was left alone with the strange, new Children.

If only she would wake up and this was all just a dream. If only, if only . . .


	3. Chapter I: Gotta Figure This Out

**Chapter I**: **Gotta Figure This Out**

_**Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming in color**_

_**Black and white is not my friend**_

_**I've never been so deep inside a shadow**_

_**I've never been so insecure of what I know**_

The Children stared at her for a good five minutes before the one with shiny red hair spoke.

"Hello," she said politely. "My name is Ellery, what's yours?"

Aster kept silent. She didn't know why, Ellery seemed very kind, and she _did _want to tell what her name was. But the scary young man with the dark skin kept staring at her so she stared back. She was scared of him and his mean looking eyes. Ellery paid no mind to her discomfort, if she noticed at all, and kept speaking, while the other Children went back to what the Voice had called 'Free-Time'.

"They told us we were going to get a surprise but we had never thought they'd send the missing Child…we figured it would be new Toys or clothes." Toys? Aster had never heard of such a thing. Maybe it was a kind of Game.

And clothes? Yes, she noticed now. She had been paying so much attention to their faces; she hadn't paid attention to their clothes. But oh the excitement! Their clothes were so colorful. The girls wore dresses like hers but hers was white just like everything else she had ever owned. These strange girls wore colors. The boys wore colors too. They wore green and blue and red and yellow and many others. Aster looked down to her own plain dress. She wished it were a pretty color too.

While Aster had been thinking, Ellery had continued to talk, she was now introducing the others, and so Aster started paying attention again.

"…The boy over there is Bruno, he's really nice and…" Huh, so it was called a boy. That was something to remember. "…The girl next to the Toy-Box, her name is Gemma, she's the youngest. She's still only Four. Those two over there are Celia and Damien, they're twins. And the other boy is Felix, he's really shy, but he's kind when you get to know him. So what's your name?" Ellery asked.

"My name is Aster," she replied and Ellery's eyes got really big. Then she turned to the other Children and said,

"You guys, her name is Aster. She must be Number One!" They all got the same big eyes look as Ellery and crowded around Aster.

"What do you mean, 'number one'?" Aster asked confused.

"Oh, well you see, my name is Ellery because I'm Number Five and E is the fifth letter in the alphabet. That means that I was the fifth one born. Your name begins with A and A is the first. Which means you were the first one born." Ellery explained. "There's always been an empty bed over there," Ellery continued, pointing to the farthest bed, the one next to the wall. "And we've never known why. Bruno thought that maybe there was another Child that was coming; we called her the Missing Child. You must be the Missing Child." As Aster tried to take this all in, the other Children's curiosity got the better of them and they started asking questions.

"How old are you?" the kind looking boy, Bruno, asked.

"When's your Upgrade-Day?" the scary girl, Celia, asked next.

"What's that thing?" asked the youngest and pointed to Blue who was still tucked under Aster's arm. They seemed to realize that she was overwhelmed with the questions and stayed silent for her to answer.

"I'm Five, but my Upgrade-Day is 1-1, so I'll be upgraded to Six soon. And this," she said holding up Blue, "is Blue. She's my Comfort Object, don't you have one?" The meany twins started to snicker and walked off without answering. So Bruno spoke up.

"We had Comfort Objects but they were taken away when we upgraded to Five. Gemmy she has hers, but it looks different," he said and pointed to Gemma who was playing with some strange looking animal.

"What is it?" Aster asked, confused by the look of the little girls Comfort Object. Hers was just a blob, it had no real shape, but this girls was a strange thing.

"It's a hippo," said Bruno, as if he was stating a simple fact like 1+1=2. "Don't you know what a hippo is?" Aster shook her head. She had never head of such a thing and she felt embarrassed now. By the look on Bruno's face she could tell she was supposed to know what a _hippo _(what a strange word) was.

"A hippo is an animal. They live in Africa." Aster knew what Africa was. Africa: the world's second largest continent - population - 1,001,320,281, area - 30,368,609 kilometers squared. That she knew. She did not know what population meant, or area, but she had memorized the Numbers like she was told. She always did what she was told. What animals inhabited Africa, she did not know either. And she wanted to. She wanted to know everything about these hippos and other things like it.

"What else?" she asked the boy.

"What else, what?"

"What other animals are there in Africa, in the world?" she asked excited now.

"Uh…there are lots of animals. There are books over there," Bruno pointed to the bookshelves on the back wall. "They have all the animals in them, I think."

"All the animals? In the whole world?"

"Yup."

Aster was gone then. She raced to first bookshelf and read the first book she found. It was on Acouchis, a rodent that lived in the tropical forests of Ecuador, Columbia, Peru, and Brazil. They eat grass, roots, tender stems, leaves, and fruit. They live alone or in small groups. All this she memorized. She then found a dictionary and looked up what a rodent was, and also what tropical forests, grass, roots, tender stems, leaves, and fruits, were. Then she memorized that too.

Long after the others had gone to something called Training, she was still reading, memorizing. By the time the Lady brought Nighttime-Meal she had read everything from A to G. She had long abandoned the thin books specifying in certain things and found that the dictionary was much more useful. She had found out that her beloved soft, green floor in her dreams was called grass and it grew everywhere in the world, in all different shapes and sizes. And the pillars with hats were called trees and the hats were called leaves and there weren't pillars or hats at all. They were plants and they grew and _lived_. She was fascinated by everything she learned and simply couldn't stop.

That was first night she went against the Rules on purpose. She couldn't, wouldn't, sleep when all this knowledge was just waiting for her to learn and memorize. So she took something the others called a flashlight, (which she learned was a: noun – a battery-operated portable light), and the dictionary and read with her bed covers over her head.

Aster discovered many things that night but her biggest discovery was this: going against the Rules was _fun_. It made her feel so alive. Every night she read. She wanted to read during the day too. But she had to continue with her Playing or else she would have nothing to show at Exams.

They had Exams every seventh day, which she learned was called Sunday. At exams the Ladies in Lab Coats, or as she called them LLC's, asked you what you learned since the last Exam. Once you told them, they would test you with questions. Sometimes Exams took ten minutes, other times is took an hour. But you never, ever went to the Exams without learning anything new.

It was programmed into their brains since as long as she could remember. You learn so you can grow smarter; you grow smarter to be a better person; you be a better person so there can be a better world. This was the motto of … of what?

What was this place they lived in? It was on Sunday night this question came to her. She had been reading about World War II and she wanted to know what would happen if there were to be a World War III. Would they be on the winning side of said war or the losing side? And for that matter, which country were they in? What city? What street? For some reason not knowing this scared her. She had no idea where she was in the world. At first she was scared, but then she was angry. How dare They! How dare these people who kept them trapped inside all day long and didn't even have the decency to make windows. Who did They think they were?

And then it dawned on her. Why weren't the others angry or scared by this notion? Didn't they know, didn't they care? The only reason she hadn't been angry before was because she never had this knowledge before. These Children that had become her friends, they had these books in their room all their lives. So why didn't they care? Maybe they didn't know, but why wouldn't they. Why wouldn't they _want _to know? The minute she knew there were things she could learn in these books she had spent all her time reading, thirsting for more. Why didn't others?

Maybe they were different. Maybe that was it. There was something the matter with them that they didn't have that need for knowledge that she did. Maybe that was why she was allowed a whole room to herself. She was more advanced than them.

But wait . . .there were seven of them and one of her. The odds that all seven had something wrong with them were very small. So it was her, then, she was the one who was different. It wasn't a privilege for her to be by herself, it was punishment. They had kept her locked away because she _needed_ the knowledge and the others didn't even care.

But then why? Why didn't They give _her_ the books? These Children didn't even want them and if she had known? Oh how much she would have wanted this knowledge long ago. Unless…

Unless they didn't want her to have the knowledge. They had kept her away from it, so she wouldn't figure it out. Figure what out? She didn't know but whatever it was They didn't want her know. And, for some unknown reason, now her whole self yearned to know what it was They didn't want her to know.

She was upset the next morning, disturbed by what she had realized the night before. Ellery, who had become her one of her closer friends out of all the Children, came up to her during Free-Time, before the Exams, and frowned.

"What's wrong, Aster?" she asked and oh how Aster wanted to bombard her friend with the millions of questions swirling in her head. Did they know where they were? And if they didn't, did they care? Had they read the books? And if they hadn't, why not? So many questions, but something held her back. She felt it was better for her friend to stay naïve a little longer. So instead she answered,

"Oh nothing."

"Do you need a Comfort?" Aster looked at her friend, bewildered.

"A what?" she asked.

Ellery looked back at her the same, "A Comfort. You don't know what a Comfort is?" And Aster shook her head, again, frustrated. She had read the whole dictionary and it had never mentioned a Comfort. Comfort was a state of physical ease but that wasn't something you but an 'a' in front of. Ellery sighed with exasperation and shook her head. But said nothing to Aster, instead she turned to her friends and said,

"Aster is in need of a Comfort." And that was all it took. Suddenly all six Children were surrounding her, with their arms around each other and spoke in unison,

"We love you, Aster," and then Ellery added in a whisper, "You're supposed to say 'I love you too'." So Aster did. The others quickly dispersed and soon it was like nothing ever happened.

"That," Ellery said, "is a Comfort." And all Aster could think of, as a reply, was,

"It was nice."

Aster had realized two things while being Comforted by her roommates. The first being, it didn't matter how many dictionaries she read or how many facts she memorized, there would always be things she didn't know simply because of lack of experience. A Comfort, for example, how was she to know what that was? She had spent her whole Five years alone, so there was no one to give her Comfort. But she knew now.

The second thing, was that it didn't matter if there was something the matter with her, her friends would still her love her no matter what.

And as the Voice boomed overhead that it was time for Training, it came to Aster that she had no idea what Training was. All this time she was worried about knowledge that was, at that very time, useless when she could be learning things she needed to know now. For instance, why did she not go to Training? Was there something else the matter with her that she did not have what was needed for Training or was Training a learning process that the others were going to so that, they too, would have the thirst for knowledge? She decided she would ask Ellery when she was back.

When she did ask, Ellery seemed hesitant to answer. When she finally did, the answer was, what the dictionary defined, as a lie. That was easy enough to see. "Oh it's nothing really, just Playing." It most certainly was not. Because Aster had Playing with them, and if anything she was better at it. So it wasn't an extra curricular activity. And if it was so they could get better, why call it Training if it was just Playing?

So Aster asked Felix, the Child she liked maybe even more than Ellery. She found his presence soothing in a way. He wasn't loud and obnoxious like the others. He was quiet and when you spoke he looked as if he really did want to know what you were going to say.

"Felix?" she asked. He was reading a book that was far below her level, _If You Give a Moose a Muffin_, and not for the first time, she wondered why she could read at a much higher level than the rest.

He looked up at his name and smiled when he saw it was her. They all loved each other but they each had best friends. She liked to think she was his best friend.

"Hi, Aster," he said in his quiet voice.

"I was wondering," she said coming to sit next to him on the purple rug she loved so much. "What do you do during Training and why do you think I don't go?" She hadn't voiced the second question to Ellery, her free spirited friend, but she felt she could trust Felix. To her surprise he looked uneasy too. But he was more honest than Ellery had been.

"I'm not supposed to say. I'm sorry, Aster."

"It's okay, Felix, I accept you apology and I forgive you."

"I accept your acceptance."

Since she had come to live with her friends, she had noticed this interaction. And when she asked Ellery, her friend had said it was just polite. And when looked up in the dictionary, she found that being polite was to use manners. And now this prewritten apology was programmed into her brain too, right next to following Rules and doing what the Voice said.

She got up and proceeded to question all the Children, even Damien, who she had never really gotten along with. All said the same thing. Finally she said,

"Please, I would like a Comfort," and, because she knew it to be mean to not come forth, she found that asking for a Comfort was the best way to get everyone together. After, as they turned to go back to their previous activities, she said,

"Wait, please. I just want to know what goes on during Training." She saw their worried glances and added, "I know it is against the Rules but please I'm Begging you." Begging was a serious word to them. To Beg was to plead with so much insistency that it would have to be a really awful request to have to turn away Begging. It was Gemma who gave in first.

"In my Training, they teach me how to fly," she said and put her thumb pack in her mouth. "I have wings," she added softly and held up her hand, "but this bracelet makes them invisible."

"I have a bracelet too," Ellery said. "But mine makes sure I can't use my super speed outside my Training."

"Wait," Aster said. "You all have different training?" They all looked at each other and then Bruno said,

"We train separate."

"Because you all are different," Aster said in realization. She smiled. She wasn't different, they all were. But wait, her smile disappeared. Why didn't she go to training and have a bracelet. And then, as the others were explaining their powers too (Bruno had all sorts of powers but mostly is was his strength, Damien made force fields, Celia could fly and had a hammer to hit things, and Felix could be invisible and change other's feelings), she realized that she didn't go to training because she didn't have a special power. All this time it was her that was a lesser being. Her eyes watered and itched as she started to cry.

The others stopped their excited chatter and wordlessly gave her a Comfort.

"We love you, Aster." They said. And she would have replied if she had not been crying so hard. Suddenly she was calm and the tears stopped. She looked confused but Felix said,

"I don't like it when you cry." And then whispered in fearful awe, "I broke a Rule." The others looked at him shocked and Gemma even gasped. Breaking a Rule was unheard of. If they only knew that Aster broke a Rule every night.

"But wait," Aster said, tears long gone. "How could you use your powers, I thought you said the bracelets stopped them?" The others looked to Felix, also confused by this. He just shrugged.

"They didn't give me a bracelet, They just made me promise not to use them outside Training."

"Why do you have special powers?" Aster asked, but immediately after realized it was useless to ask at all. They wouldn't know any more than she did. And just as she predicted they shrugged and went back to what they were doing. Felix stayed.

"Are you all right now?" he asked kindly. She wasn't surprised, Felix was always kind; she liked that about him. She also liked his eyes, they were green like the leaves on the trees. She smiled at him and nodded.

"Thank you for making me feel better, Felix."

"I accept your thank you and you're welcome."

They sat back down on the purple carpet and continued to read, him his picture book and her, a book called _The Giver_. She found that her world and Jonas's were very similar in many ways. But where as he had a whole town, she only had this one little room. She wasn't lonely anymore, but she was aching to know what was beyond that door.

One day, 3-14, (her, Bruno, Celia, and Damien were now all Six) as she had started to keep track after her Upgrading ceremony, she broke another Rule. A very big Rule, which was never spoken, just known: Do not open the door. It wasn't a difficult Rule to follow, but as each day passed, Aster found it harder and harder to resist. She _needed_ to know what was behind that door. Of course, she knew it was a hallway followed by many other hallways, for she had walked them to get from her old room to here. But what beyond those hallways? Surely there must be other rooms, so did that mean there were other Children too? And if so were they like her friends, with strange powers not found in any book or dictionary? Or were like her, with nothing special but thirst for knowledge almost dangerously powerful? This was why she really wanted to venture outside their safe little room. She wanted to know if there were others like her, or if she would always be alone in that way.

So, after the others had left for Training, she cautiously pushed the door just a little. Nothing. She pushed harder and still nothing happened. It was when she looked up and noticed the Numbers that she recalled a distant memory. 6-8-3-9-5-0-1-4-2-7, that was it. That was the code the Voice had typed in to open that very same day the first day. Put if only she could reach it! She looked for something to stand on, but all the chairs and tables and other furniture were nailed to the floor. But she couldn't give up now, so she looked harder.

The books! She could bring those think, heavy dictionaries over and stand on them. It took three dictionaries and one atlas for her to reach the strange Numbers. She typed in the code. There was a strange hissing sound and the door opened with a 'pop'. She hoped no one had heard and very, very cautiously, she poked her head through the crack. And with all the courage she could muster, she ran out of the safety of her room and into the unknown of the halls.

If only they led to a world filled with books and Comfort Objects and shy little boys with pretty green eyes. If only, if only . . .


	4. Chapter II: My Wish

**Chapter II: My Wish**

**_But more than anything, more than anything_**

**_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,_**

**_Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,_**

**_You never need to carry more than you can hold_**

Aster had run right back into the room that first day she went outside, but the exhilaration she felt was amazing, and she longed for the next day when she could go again.

Every day she ventured out, and everyday she went just a little bit farther, memorizing every hall so she could find her way back. It was difficult at first; all the halls looked the same, but soon she new every single one of them. There were doors in most of the hallways but when she tried the password that she had used on her own door, there was no hissing sound and no 'pop'. She concluded that every door had a different password. It would take much too long to try and figure them all out.

_But there must be doors that aren't locked_, she thought. She had read in her books that there was something called a bathroom, in which people went to the toilet and showered. Their room had a toilet in a separate little room off to the side, but they showered in another room, and only once a week were they brought the Shower-Room. But They couldn't have a toilet like that in every room, They must have a bathroom. And she knew They wouldn't lock the bathrooms, why bother? So she checked every door she passed just to make sure. Even if all she found was a bathroom that would be exciting enough.

So you can image the excitement Aster felt when she came across a room that wasn't a bathroom, but it wasn't like her room either. The door read in big, block letters, – **EMPLOYEE LOUNGE **– She knew and employee was someone who worked in the building. And a lounge was a public place in which to sit and relax. So this was where the employees went to have a break or Free-Time as her friends called it.

She hesitated opening it. What if there was someone in there? She was breaking many Rules by being outside her room and she would be punished. But what of these punishments? No on had ever broken a rule and gotten punished, even though that was the threat. Aster opened the door.

It was wonderfully strange. The furniture was somewhat the same. There was a table with chairs and there was something she knew to be a couch. But it was the black box upon a smaller table that caught her attention. What was this thing? There were buttons on the front and she pushed one. All of a sudden a picture came up and Aster realized it was a Screen of some sort. There was a lady on the Screen and she was talking.

"Because she's your lobster," the lady said. The man next to her replied,

"Oh, she's going somewhere."

"Come one you guys," the lady said. "It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actual see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws," the lady then proceeded to make a strange hand motion and laughter could be heard from somewhere off-screen. "You have to picture lobsters."

Aster didn't know if the lady was talking to her, but she was so used to doing what the Screen said that she pictured lobster. She had seen a picture in the dictionary. She pictured two lobsters holding 'claws' and smiled. It was funny. This Screen was funny. That in its self was strange.

And so, being so caught up in the Screen's story of six friends not unlike hers, laughing and joking and being in love, that she almost didn't notice the door open.

She jumped behind the couch just in time, her heart pounding in her chest and blood pumping in her ears.

"Hey did someone leave the TV on?" she heard a man's voice say.

"Oh no, that's against protocol," the other said, mockingly. They laughed and continue to joke around. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the men left and all that was heard was the lady from the screen say,

"See, he's her lobster!" Aster hesitatingly looked over the edge of the couch. No one was there. She let out a breath in relief but as she was walking to the door, she froze. On the table there was a strange looking book that hadn't been there before. Curious, she picked it up. It seemed to be many papers, like that in a book, but there was no front or back cover and the pages weren't stuck together. It was a newspaper! Intrigued, she read what seemed to be the first page.

_The Daily Planet_ METROPOLIS SAVED BY HEROES ONCE AGAIN! Louis Lane

_When three villains escaped Arkham and started reeking havoc on our beloved city, all citizens fled in fear of their lives, unsure if their homes would be spared. But just as all hope seemed lost, Superman swooped in to save the day, red cape blowing in the wind behind him. Along with Superman, was his fellow Justice Leaguers Green Lantern and Hawkgirl took down the escapees. What would we do without our beloved heroes? _

The article went on to explain how these people, heroes, saved the city, the world, over and over again. And they too, possessed special powers similar to the ones Aster's friends had. What a discovery! Wouldn't her friends be surprised that there were people like them in the real world? But that didn't help her figure out why they were here in the first place. Her theory was that, because her friends had special abilities, they were taken and placed here as to not hurt the normal people. But if there were other people living outside and not hurting, but _helping_ the world, why would they be kept here? And so Aster's goal changed from exploring all she could of the building to finding out why They had locked them away.

Before anyone else could come in and force her into hiding, Aster quietly, snuck out of the room, but not before grabbing the newspaper off the table.

When she entered her room, making sure to close the door behind her, her friends were already there. They had been sitting in a circle whispering and, when she came in the, they all sighing in relief. Felix spoke first.

"Where have you been?" he said and she was surprised by his tone, he seemed almost angry. She shrunk back and he realized his mistake. He walked up to her and took her hand. "We were worried about you." He sent soothing waves of calm emotions ad her and then in a smaller voice he said, "I'm sorry I scared you."

"S'ok," she said distracted and he seemed confused by the strange reply, that was not what one normally said. But Aster had already moved on.

"You'll never guess what I found out," she said breathlessly. But before she could continue, Bruno interrupted,

"Were you outside the room? That's against the rules!" The others gasped and were even more shocked when she simply rolled her eyes at the accusation.

"Forget the Rules!" More gasps, and she sighed, exasperated. "Just look at this!" and she pulled out the newspaper. They all stared, both curious and fearful, at the strange thing. And because she new the writing would be too small for them to read, she read aloud the story about heroes with powers that saved the day and about a wonderful man named Superman and his League of justice. By the time she was done they were all enchanted, eyes wide with wonder.

"And the best part," she finished, rolling the newspaper back up, "is, it's not a story, it's real." They began to talk amongst themselves, and Bruno spoke up again,

"But what does that mean?"

Aster wasn't completely sure, but she answered, "It means that you're not alone, that there are other people like you, that can help you besides the people here." Her reply was met with blank stares. She sighed again. "Don't you see? It means that we don't have to stay here!" It was a moment before her answer sunk in and Gemma replied with her naïve little voice,

"But, Aster," she said. "Why would we want to leave?" The others nodded along, also confused.

"Yeah," said Celia. "We have everything we could ever want here. They feed us and give us clothes and we never have to worry about anything. Once when Damien complained about the Meals, the Lady said that we were lucky, that some Children didn't get any food at all. We're lucky to be here, Aster, why would we ever want to leave?"

The other Children voiced their agreement. Aster looked at them incredulously. "How can you say that? We have nothing here! We've never seen the sun or the sky or felt breeze or seen snow. We've never had a family, a mother and father who love us, and grandparents who buy us presents. Don't you want all that?" And then she realized by their lost stares, that they didn't understand a word she just said.

So Aster spent the rest of Free-Time explaining how wonderful the world could be. She told of mothers who brushed your hair and made cookies that tasted like nothing in the world could compare to. She told of fathers who swung you in their arms and laughed and kissed you on the head; and of grandparents, of pets, of school, of the zoo, of the weather, of the sun. She didn't go into the part about war and violence and genocide. They didn't need to know that yet.

By the time the Voice rang through the room, announcing in was time for Sleep, everyone was in agreement – they wanted the world. And Aster promised them that she would find a way to get them there. And so her goal changed yet again, to finding a way out.

She just hoped with all her heart that this was going to be a good thing. She hoped she wouldn't be sending them to their deaths. She wanted them to live like the Children did in her storybooks. She wanted them to be happy.

If only the world were as good as she made it out to be. If only, If only . . .


	5. Chapter III: It's Not Easy

**Chapter III: Superman – It's Not Easy**

**_Wish that I could cry,_**

**_Fall upon my knees,_**

**_Find a way to lie,_**

**_About a home I'll never see,_**

**_It may sound absurd, but don't be naive,_**

**_Even heroes have the right to bleed_**

**_It may be disturbed, but won't you concede, _**

**_Even heroes have the right to dream_**

**_It's not easy to be me_**

Aster still went out everyday, but this time she had a specific reason – to look for the exit. There had to be a door that the employees came in and went out through. Even if they lived there, there had to be a place where the food was brought in. They had to. She decided that the best place to look was near the kitchen. If only she knew where the kitchen was. But she knew that the Meals came from the kitchen, so the Lady's who brought the Meals must have to first go to the kitchen. So Aster waited until she saw the Lady, with hair dusted with grey and kind eyes.

She followed the lady through many hallways with no fear of becoming lost. She knew her way around the building, now, like the back of her hand.

She kept her distance from the Lady, far enough not to be heard but close enough so that she couldn't lose her. And, just as she suspected, the Lady led her to two doors that looked much different from the other doors she'd seen. The Lady went through them and they swung back out behind her. She gave herself three seconds to think through the options and consequences, and then Aster ran in after her.

This room was nothing like the Employee Lounge. It was filled with people, all yelling at each other. Aster panicked and hid behind box filled with green things she knew to be Vegetables. But, minutes passed, and no one yelled, "Hey look at that girl hiding over there." Her curiosity got the better of her and she peeked over the top of the box.

There must have been twenty ladies and men all dressed in white and all doing different jobs with food. Some were chopping Vegetables, others were stirring things in pots and pans. There was even a younger man brushing the floor with a giant stick with bristles at the end. After observing the strange place for a few minutes, Aster looked around for the reason she had come in the first place.

There, in the corner, there was a door. She watched as a man caring a very large sack went through the door and she caught her first glance of the world.

She decided not to test her luck any longer and quickly left the kitchen with a newfound hope. There was a chance after all. But her worry now was that there would be too many people there. She had planned on leaving after Sleep was called so that everyone would be resting. But she wouldn't be surprised if that busy room was still filled with people.

She was three minutes away from her room, when she heard footsteps followed by voices. Fear ran through her. There was nowhere to hide! But the voices were coming from the hallway she was headed and they kept going their way, not even glancing down her hallway.

She caught bits of their conversation.

"How is The Project coming along?" a voice said, she knew that voice! It was the Voice!

The answering voice she did not recognize. "Very well. Two is fulfilling his potential, as to be expected."

"And the others?"

"Three is doing very well with mace we have provided and Four is susceptible to yellow energy, as we suspected. Five is controlling her ability better everyday and you know we have no worries about Six. We were afraid Seven was too young, that she was born to late. It seems no other powers have emerged but the wings. If nothing changes by her next Upgrade, we'll have to dispose of her."

They were talking about her friends that she knew. It seemed that they were speaking about Training. And she was sure she knew was 'dispose of' meant but she prayer she was wrong.

"Then so be it," the Voice said with no hint of remorse. "But I do hope that it doesn't come to that. Seven against seven is what we planned for. It would be a shame if all are hard work was ruined because of one weak link." Her tone at the end made it sound like she was threatening the other man.

He cleared his throat nervously and then replied, "We'll see what we can do."

By this point, the voices were so far down the hall she could barely hear them, but her curiosity was gnawing at her. This was what she had wanted to know since she found out about Training. Against her better judgment, Aster followed them, as quietly as possible.

"Very good. And One? Has she been behaving? You know I worry, considering," the Voice said. Considering what? Aster needed to know. They were talking about her now.

"From what we can tell she has only been interested in her Playing, and reads during her Free-Time. As long as she has unread books she should be kept in check. But once those run out, I can only imagine the damage she could cause with her curiosity. While they shower, I sugest we restock the books. She'll never know and The Project will be safe."

"I think you underestimate her, Dr. Hamilton," the Voice said, back to that threatening tone.

"And, with all due respect, Waller, I think you overestimate her. She is only a child, not even seven yet. I don't think she'll be a problem, yet. But if she were to find out, would we dispose of her as well?"

The Voice, apparently 'Waller', replied, anger rising in her tone, "Negative. She is far too important. You must understand that without her The Project is worthless. She is of the highest priority. Do you under stand Professor Hamilton?"

Her tone was steel and Aster stopped following them then. She flattened against the wall as the two rounded a corner. She was far too scared now. She had thought The Voice to be a kind lady, but she had shown a disregard to her friend's life. She had also favored Aster over all the others and, though she knew she should be flattered, Aster now hated the lady. But she knew what she had always hoped for – she was just as, if not more than, important as her friends were. So why didn't that make her feel any better?

One thing she knew for sure – they were going to 'dispose of' Gemma if they didn't get out by 6-1 (as the date was that day 5-24) and whatever that meant, it did not sound good. Which meant that it was up to Aster to formulate a plan of escape in five days and twenty-three hours.

Aster walked faster than before as a pit began to form in her stomach.

If only this wasn't all on her. If only she wasn't the most important, the smartest, the first. If only, if only . . .


	6. Chapter IV: God Help The Outcasts

**Chapter IV: God Help The Outcasts**

**God help the outcasts**

_**Show them them mercy**_

_**They don't find on earth**_

_**God help my people**_

_**We look to You still**_

_**God help the outcasts**_

_**Or nobody will**_

_**I thought we all were**_

_**The children of God**_

The days went by faster than before and with each passing day, the time till Gemma's Upgrade-Day grew shorter. The less time there was the more anxiety Aster felt.

Her plan was easy in the beginning. They would sneak out approximately three hours after Sleep, which was, she learned, at 20:00, which meant they would be in the halls at 23:00. She hoped everyone was gone by that point. They would take the shortest root, they would have to go through seven hallways and pass four doors. When they reached the kitchen doors, she would go in first to see (while leaving Bruno, her second in command, as he was a natural leader, in charge) if the coast was clear. If it wasn't, she didn't know what they would do, perhaps go back to the room and come back later. But if all was as planned they would go through the door in the back and…

You see this was where her plan was lacking. She had no real idea of what was behind that door. She knew it lead outside; she had seen the sun and the sky. But she still was clueless as to where they were. What if they were on an island? What then? Her only real thought on the matter was this – if her friends would all use their powers, it wouldn't matter where they were. If they were surrounded by water they would simply fly/run over to the nearest land.

But how to get those damned bracelets off? The only one who could help was Felix and his powers wouldn't do any good. Unless…

"Ellery?" she asked walking over to her friend.

"Yes?"

"How do they get the bracelets off during Training?"

"Oh," the red head replied, "They have this button they press and the bracelets just pop off." So a button, was it? Yes it would work now. Her plan was perfect, and just in time, Gemma's Upgrade day was tomorrow.

"Felix," she said turning towards her reading friend.

"Yes, Aster?" he replied smiling his kind smile.

Her face was solemn when she said "I need you to do something for me, Felix." His gaze was curious.

"Anything for you." Aster smiled. Then it disappeared. They didn't have much time.

"Ok this is what I need you to do." And she continued to explain that he was to turn invisible after Training (he had told her previously that they all waited in a hall way for the others, he was always the fourth one out), he would sneak away from the others and go back and try and grab the remote. Whether he got it or not he was to _immediately _get back in line.

"You can see why I can't go with you," she said nervously as the minutes ticked away. Training was very soon and she was so nervous she thought she would explode. Felix, being so used to breaking the rules now, sent waves of soothing happiness and love at her. She smiled. The door opened and the lady who brought them to Training made them all line up and leave.

--*--*--

Aster couldn't take much more of this. Her friends had only been gone for ten minutes at most and she already felt the nerves creeping back up. And without Felix they continued to eat her alive. She needed a distraction but she had read all the books already. But then she remember the man, Professor Hamilton, say they were going to restock her book supply. She ran to check and, wouldn't you know, every single book had been replaced with one she hadn't read. She was almost sorry they were leaving tonight. Almost.

She picked one at random. _Greek Mythology_, the title read. Intrigued, she opened to the first page.

Thirty minutes later she was fascinated by what she had discovered behind the cover. She had read stories of all the gods and demigods and the adventures they had. She read of Reah and Cronos and how Zeus had saved his brothers and sisters from their evil father. Out of all the gods her favorites were Athena and Artemis; Athena because she seemed the smartest and the one who always had a plan, and Artemis because she was the goddess of the hunt, which was normally associated with men. She liked how they gave a goddess that role.

Aster was not gullible in the least, not like her naïve friends, but she could see how these gods could exist. For if they didn't, who then controlled things like the weather and seasons, and who caused things like war and death. It made perfect sense now. So she sent a silent prayer to the gods who she now believed in.

_Please, _she prayed, _please let Felix be safe and please let him retrieve the button; it's our only hope._

Once she finished the whole book, she looked for others on the topic but there were none. So she entertained herself by pacing the length of the room. Back and forth and back and forth. Over and over. And this was how the others found her.

As soon as the door closed she hounded on Felix, "Are you alright? Did they catch you? Did you get it?" The others stared bewildered but Felix smiled and showed his prize. It was a black square with a big red button in the center. Cautiously, Aster pressed it and three things happened simultaneously. First the bracelets popped open and fell to the grown. Gemma's wings that she had mentioned earlier became visible and Celia, standing near by gasped as Bruno floated to the ceiling. Once everyone got used to the feeling of their powers again, they were back on the floor and questioning Aster.

"How," was the most heard but what Aster answered was the why. "It doesn't matter how, what matters is that you have your powers. Now I have to tell you something." Her friends all sat down in front of her on the purple carpet, anticipating a story. Not wanting to disappoint, she Aster continued,

"Remember the day I brought the newspaper?" Nods, of course they remembered it was a turning point in their lives. "Well, when I was coming back I heard two people speaking." And so she retold what she'd heard and what they were going to do to Aster.

"I couldn't just do nothing, so I thought up a plan." She told them how they were to sneak out and then use their powers to help that when they reached the outside world. A stunned silence followed and Ellery, so usually filled with laughter, looked frightened as she said,

"But…where will we go?"

"To Metropolis," Aster replied confidently, though she did not really feel so, Felix knew. She had lost them once again.

"There's a place that makes newspapers, like the one I showed you; it's called The Daily Planet. And it's in Metropolis. Once we get there we'll try to find Louis Lane, who wrote the story, she'll know where Superman is - she'll help us find him."

They others were worried at first but soon the built up excitement of escaping to an unknown land got to them and they were talking happily of what they would do once they were out. When Sleep was called they got into their beds like the good little boys and girls they were, as Aster had told them they needed the three hours of sleep before the escape.

Aster, herself, couldn't sleep. She kept thinking of all the things that could go wrong, imagining the worst-case scenario. And as 23:00 rolled along she quietly got out of bed and whispered, "It's time." Most of her friends were already awake, but she had to rouse a few of them. And as she led them to the door, a flashlight hand, she sent another prayer to her gods.

To Athena, she prayed for success of the plan she had worked so hard on. To Hera, she prayed for a family that would accept them and show them what it was to be loved. To Artemis she prayed for the stars to show them the way, and to Hermes, god of travelers, of foreigners, she prayed for a safe passage to Metropolis and for it's people to accept them.

If only the gods were real. If only they heard her plea. If only, If only . . .


	7. Chapter V: Once Upon A Broken Heart

**Chapter V:****Once Upon A Broken Heart**

_**Once upon a broken heart**_

_**I was walking alone in the dark**_

_**Looking for a way to start again**_

_**There was no love in my life**_

_**There was no light in my eyes**_

_**And all the tears I cried and cried**_

_**Felt like they would never end**_

Aster made sure to tell them to tread softly before they left the safety of their room. She knew would be dark in halls and with there being only one flashlight, which she held, she had taken the sheets from her bed and made a rope of sorts. She had then told them each to hold tightly to it, making sure to warn them the dangers of letting go.

She was also aware that the weather and temperature of the outside world was unpredictable and she didn't know what it would be. She had read that the sixth month, which was called June, was normally hot in most places in the northern hemisphere and cold in the southern hemisphere. But as she had no idea where they were, she had prepared for both.

In her left hand she held the flashlight, but in her right she held a very precious bundle that she had made out of her sheets. In it were rations of food she had saved from her Meals, a thermos of water that she had stolen from the Employee Lounge, and the newspaper. Behind her each one of her friends had their own blankets in their other hand and an employee longer-sleeved shirt tied around their wastes.

They silence as they walked was deafening, but Aster supposed she would rather silence than voices or footsteps. As they approached the double doors that led to the kitchen Aster stopped making the others stop behind her. Cautiously she whispered,

"This is it." She handed her part of the blanket to Bruno who was behind her. She placed her bundle carefully next to his foot. "I'll go in and make sure everything is fine. Once I come back we'll continue on. She flashed the beam of light over each of their faces, every one of them held different emotions.

Bruno's was filled with anxiety, for she hadn't told the others what she had told him – if she didn't come back in five minutes they were to turn around and try to find the room. If she didn't come back it meant they had caught her.

Celia's and Damien's wore the same fearful expression and Ellery's held no fear at all. She smiled at Aster, her eyes filled with excitement and hope. Aster smiled back.

As her eyes rested on her best friend, she felt a lump rise in her throat blocking her from breath. His face was the emotionless mask it always was but his eyes were filled with worry. He could feel her fear. He sent waves of courage at her, and hope too, but for the first time, it did little to help her. Gemma was smiling too; she didn't understand what everyone was worried about. If Aster said she was coming right back, she _was_ coming right back. Aster let Gemma's innocent faith and Felix's ability fill her with cautious hope and furious determination.

One last look at her friends and she turned towards the doors. She could see no light coming from the room, so she hoped no one was inside. She took one last breath and pushed them open.

Her friends waited some hopeful, some excited, some completely at ease, but all fearful as the seconds ticked by and no sound was heard but their one breathing. Suddenly, Aster reappeared and though they couldn't see her in the pitch black, they could hear the smile in her voice.

"Alright," she breathed in relief. "Let's go on." So she picked up the rope blanket and her bundle and led her friends into the unknown. She stopped once again but not as long as they approached the door that led to the world. She turned to her friends and said what she had secretly prepared to say at this very moment. "Alright, this is it you guys. This is the beginning of your lives, make a memory," then she turned and opened the door to their future.

If only she could fully believed that this was the end of their suffering. If only, if only . . .

_**END OF PART ONE**_


End file.
